That Summer

Last summer was the most challenging yet most wonderful one yet. It all started when I met you. You seemed ordinary at first. Everyone did. Nobody stood out to me, but as I got to know the group, everyone seemed to change in appearance. It’s weird how that happens. When you first meet someone, you just see an ordinary face; unless they are particularly attractive, there is nothing special noticed. But when you get to know them, their personality, their story, you really see them. The flaws about their appearance, and the beautiful parts too. That’s what happened with you. Blonde and blue eyed. I had never liked a blonde before. Maybe that’s why I didn’t realized I was in love with you until much later. We did not start talking until halfway through our experience at camp together. At the time, I thought it was only because you sort of scared me; you were intimidating. Looking back however, I realized it was because I was preoccupied. There was another one to think about. A brunette. He caught my eye and I was hooked; until I found out he had a girlfriend at home. I wasn’t as disappointed as I would have been under different circumstances. We started talking and I was interested. I wondered why he seemed so interested in me. I soon found out that I reminded him of his girl back home. Same smile, same sense of humor, same demeanor. As he described it, we were both squishy on the inside yet hard on the outside. He saw me. He found out everything about me without me even telling him a word of my life. Never before had I been with a guy and not felt attraction. I loved him. But not as a significant other.  Just as a friend. And I was surprised; usually every guy I have a relationship with is because of mutual attraction. But with the brunette, everything was simple. I knew he had a girlfriend, and he knew that I knew that. It was a perfect relationship. Maybe that is why I never noticed you. I never noticed you always staring at me. I never noticed how completely infatuated you were with me. I had you hooked. And I only realized that months later. When the summer was coming to an end and we met up at a friends house, we were so caught up in each other, but I never knew why. I did not consciously make a decision that I liked you until the fall. And that was perfection. I was impulsive with you during our reunion that night at the end of summer. I just talked and acted without realizing why I was doing it. We flirted next to each other on the couch, pressing up against each other while playing video games with the others. I remember looking back at you to find you looking at me. Perfection. I don’t know what happened after that. We said goodbye and I thought that would be it. The texts however proved otherwise. I couldn’t believe when I got the text asking if I would say yes if you asked me out. And I said no. Distance is a bitch. 30 miles doesn’t seem like a lot, but it is when you are 16 and car-less. By then you and I both knew that I  liked you back. The party a couple of weeks later was amazing. A simple hug as an introduction was all I needed to be reassured of your feelings. That wink as you danced with another girl. Your protectiveness that came out when those two guys tried to pick me up. Pure perfection. And then it fell apart. The distance got to you. The texts stopped.  I thought that you moved on and so I stopped trying. Trying only to move on. Then I found out that you thought I was the one to stop the texts. A misunderstanding. You started dating another girl all because of a technological difficulty. And me? Where does that leave me? Frozen in time. Hoping that you still care about me and that you will soon realize it. But who am I kidding? You have been with her 3 months now and you are still going strong.

–K.M

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